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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 45
Friday 21st October 'WAR CONTINUES TO ERODE PRIESTHOOD ' The past two nights have seen continued warring between several factions and individuals against the Priesthood. Approximately 20 of the Boss’s crew, including two of his own private bodyguards were gunned down on Wednesday night with more being picked off over the last 24 hours. The Boss himself has sustained severe injury on more than one occasion, escaping to hideout in his Headquarters or anonymously in hospitals to recover before being seen out in the open again. At one point it was unsure whether he would live or die and doctors at Mercy Hospital stated that he was lucky to have pulled through from at least one of the gunshot wounds he received on Wednesday night. Several of his crew have been out trying to recruit more members into the Family, trying to swell the numbers again in order to strengthen the defence of the Headquarters, but these new members are being picked off as easily as the older members of the family. It would appear that joining the Priesthood may be a short career while this war continues. The reasons for the dissent that led to the war are many and varied. Some have stated that it was bad leadership that drove them to their actions. A source from inside his family leaked information that Paulo was actually putting a price on promotion, asking his members pay large sums of money if they wanted to progress. If he is doing this, then it shows that he awards those who buy respect, and will pass over those not fortunate enough to earn the correct sums, even if they are the more suitable person for the promotion. It also now appears that deceit and lies are prevalent within the family, with excuses and platitudes wheeled out time and again when the higher members are questioned over deaths. At the time of writing, no comment was available from Paulo. It is hoped that he will be available for interview at some point over the weekend, should he survive the constant attacks when he is out on the streets. One thing is certain: There are members of the community who will not stop until he is dead, but we at the newspaper hope to be able to bring you the other side of the war as soon as we can. 'EDITOR HELD OVER MYSTERY KILLING ' Following the discovery of a body washed up on the shore, the editor of the Gazette was arrested by the police and held for several hours for questioning. The police arrested the editor at the newspaper offices yesterday and took her to the Chicago precinct where they held her for several hours resulting in a lack of a newspaper edition yesterday. The reason for the arrest was not evident for the first hour while the editor was held in one of the cells. She was then led to an interrogation room where Officer Jim Malone questioned her at length about her whereabouts on Wednesday afternoon. Eventually the reason for the arrest was made clear: A body had washed up on the shore, a knife stuck in it’s back pinning a note between the shoulder blades. The blade had penetrated through the vertebrae, severing the spinal cord and slicing into the heart of the victim. Chief Medical Examiner, Dr Crippin had alerted the police following the discovery of the note pinned to the corpse. The note read “dOnt Fuk wIt Da PapeR Or Iz Keel Ya”, immediately alerting the police to the possibility that the editor of the gazette had some connection to the grizzly crime. The victim, a Mr Mystery_MiSTie had been a serial mailer when he immigrated to this country and one of his targets had been the editor of the newspaper. CarmelaDeAngelis-Giunta explained to the police that the attempted mass mailing had only made her pity the man for all his efforts and had ended up with her inviting the man in for tea. Any animosity that may have been present in the beginning had long gone and both had been friends. Carmela was said to be devastated at the loss of someone she classed as a good friend and is said to be considering suing the police for wrongful arrest along with the emotional stress caused by missing the funeral of her friend. 'WEEKENDER EDITION CANCELLED ' This weekends Weekender edition has had to be cancelled following a mix up with the archives. The full weekender edition will be published in the early part of next week as a supplement to the normal daily Issue. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. 'LETTERS PAGE ' Dear Carmela, I have a rant that’s keeping me up nights, so to preserve my beauty sleep here it is. Over the last few months, many times when someone would end up dead or missing and they held a job or position, immediately their son or daughter steps in to take the position. If the child who is groomed to take over is killed, it moves onto their son or daughter. I find this extremely irresponsible and incorrect. Yes, ONCE you may have a child groomed to take over, but your grandchild and their grandchild. I realize that I only graduated head of my class at Wesleyan College at the head of my graduating class and spent many years abroad in finishing schools my Papa and Mama allowed me to attend, but not one class or lecture did they explain how this type of nepotism is possible at this point in science, perhaps in the future clones can be made to take your places when you die, but until then, please don’t attempt the impossible. Most sincerely, Anonymous 'CORRECTION ' In Wednesday’s Gazette we reported that Famous Flyer, owned by JohnDavidson2, was the first horse to beat the $20k barrier for earnings for the owner. This was in fact incorrect as Santas Little Helper made over $21k for his owner the day previously. We apologise for the error. 'WE HEAR THAT… ' Gossip column by: Trixie .... Evsie was seen purchasing some fishnet stockings. Later that night while walking past his house this gossip queen peeked in only to see Evsie in the earlier purchased stockings, a black corset, long black Gloves and heavy, heavy makeup. Not to mention the "come F-me shoes". I wish I could say it was sexy.. But that’s just a lie, its not even gossip. ....Tie was seen entering the Movie theatre with his arm around a fat hairy girl. No idea who the girl was, But it was Tie. He was telling everyone who passed "check out my new lady! Isn’t she hot!" and when the Girl burped he go "aww, She’s so precious." .... Frances was seen Halloween costume shopping this morning. She was standing in the ladies underwear section going "do I want to wear Red Satin or Black Leather?" In the bag by her feet where killer heels, and a whip... One can only speculate what she was going as. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC) HORSES FOR SALE Horse for Sale!! Absolutely brilliant runner, the best of any stable, look at the earnings she's accumulated Famous Flyer $1,500,000 ONO Contact JohnDavidson2 17922 Oct 20th 09:00AM 77 ° Slightly Moist 1st $5,606 5 :1 17878 Oct 19th 11:00AM 28 ° Dry 2nd $6,685 1 :1 17834 Oct 18th 01:00PM 48 ° Dry 1st $6,145 1 :1 17789 Oct 17th 02:30PM 76 ° Dry 1st $17,437 1 :1 17745 Oct 16th 04:30PM 70 ° Bone Dry 1st $21,652 1 :1 17700 Oct 15th 06:00PM 77 ° Bone Dry 1st $7,350 1 :1 17612 Oct 13th 10:00PM 99 ° Dry 2nd $3,660 4 :1 17568 Oct 13th 12:00AM 93 ° Bone Dry 2nd $3,279 1 :1 17479 Oct 11th 03:30AM 59 ° Bone Dry 1st $7,769 1 :1 17435 Oct 10th 05:30AM 90 ° Bone Dry 3rd $1,640 2 :1 Also Stormy Snake Great runner, $1,000,000 ONO No Reasonable offer refused!! 21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 21:03, January 5, 2013 (UTC) 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. ' http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=54